Since this is a space for Queer stuff, I’m obviously gonna have to do a promo for the Queer Punx Podcast. It’s my favourite podcast right now, and is run by the seemingly lovely Daniel and Jack, where they have rad guests and talk politics, queer issues, problematic feminism and the queer punx scene (which is the most friendly scene),and play a whole bunch of really cool songs by really cool people. You can find them on itunes (search for Queer Punx) and on tumblr at qpunx.tumblr.com and on twitter @QPunx. Definitely worth a listen, and go show them some big queer love.

Ohhhh!!! Lovely things about us! :D

<3 <3

Yesterday, non-binary people on Twitter rallied together with the hash-tag #beingNB. It was a beautiful out-pouring of community love and support, with some great tips and stories, and I collated it into a storify so it wasn’t lost forever…

What was that about trans people recently inventing the cis/trans distinction?

What was that about trans people recently inventing the cis/trans distinction?

(Source: transadvocate.com)

LGBT asylum seekers in the UK are being forced to “prove” their sexuality. One of those asylum seekers is my mate Aderonke.

The UK asylum system is fucked, and needs to change (*cough* no borders *cough*) - but Aderonke can’t wait til then. She’s been sentenced to death by stoning in Nigeria, where her former girlfriend was killed.

Sign the petition to help Aderonke stay in the UK.


For this week’s podcast of HYPHENATED*, Chuks and Kari will be discussing racism, sexism & transphobia in the LGBTQ* community. As QPOC, we feel and live this personally, but we are also looking for listener responses as well, some of which will be read live on air. If you have any personal experiences with racism, sexism and/or transphobia from LGBTQ* individuals/the community, your input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Anonymous responses are also accepted.

Hey everyone, if you have any experiences with racism, sexism and/or transphobia from LGBTQ* individuals/community, would love your input for this week’s podcast. Made it a form to make it easier to submit. Thanks in advance!

I filled this in, y’all should too if it’s relevant to you!

(Source: hyphenated-lives, via owning-my-truth)


sure is neat how non-binary trans identity is only culturally intelligble in queer/trans communities if you are dfab.
sure is neat how setting up ‘women’s only spaces’ and the many spaces that are not named as such but are essentially still the same as spaces for the people only cis women feel resonance with leads to situations where, even when trans women are welcome, dmab genderqueer folk are either out-and-out banned, or are shunned for just being ‘that dude in the corner, who even invited him? ugh, men, right? btw, sweet bowtie, dude’.
sure is neat how if you talk about this too long or too loud and you are a trans woman, it usually leads to you being castigated + sideeyed for being Too Aggressive (tm) (read: ‘your male upbringing is showing’, which, read: ‘your womanhood is conditional to me and i will always revoke it when you do anything but dote on me’)

pretty neat huh

so much this

(via baeddelambit)


Janet Mock returns to Piers Morgan Live. (x)

My people are everything. Thank you for supporting me tonight. I exist among giants. I love you all. 

too good for us

(Source: brownbodied, via fursasaida)

I think that the focus on (sex) dysphoria as an inherent part of being transgender is flawed


and not just because it totally erases anyone who doesn’t experience sex dysphoria. 

 note that I am a white person living in the US, so that is the only perspective I can really speak from. this discussion may not apply to you at all, and I’m sorry that I don’t have the experiences necessary to make it applicable to everyone. I would really welcome any further discussion that mentions things I missed. 

for the purposes of this post, I’m going to define a few terms real quick. these aren’t hard-and-fast definitions, but they describe how I’ll be using these terms for the duration of this post.

  • sex dysphoria: discomfort relating to sex characteristics and body parts, including but not limited to: genitalia, chest shape, body shape/fat distribution, height, hand/foot size, facial structure, etc.
  • gender dysphoria: discomfort relating to the roles, actions, and ideas society has around the sex you were assigned. varies depending on the society, the people you’re surrounded with and how open-minded they are, etc.
  • social dysphoria: similar to gender dysphoria but has nothing to do with how the person themself feels about their body or the roles they occupy, and everything to do with how society sees them. again, this can vary depending on the society. for instance, if a trans person presents in a typically feminine manner and that’s what makes their body and mind feel the best, but they have discomfort associated with the assumptions people make of them because of this, that would be social dysphoria. 

so the primary focus on being transgender, and often presented as the defining characteristic that makes a person trans, is sex dysphoria. in order to be considered transgender, many people think that you must have constant and extreme discomfort with your own body. I feel like this is a false and misleading definition for a few different reasons.

Comfortable-In-Skin rhetoric. a lot of people define “cisgender” as “comfortable-in-skin” (mostly cis allies). this makes for a nice, neat acronym, and absolves the person from having to expand any further on the subject, but it is fundamentally wrong. how many cis people do you know who are completely comfortable in their skin? are you saying that there are no cis people at all who have issues with their body? that’s very obviously not true. so if that’s not what it means, then it must be a misleading way of saying that a cis person can be defined as someone who is comfortable with the way that their body is gendered. but then, where does that put trans people who have transitioned to the full extent of what they wanted? if a trans person has a list of things they want to do to transition, whether that list follows the traditional trans narrative or not, then the end goal is obviously to be free of dysphoria, right? so then does that make the fully transitioned person, now happy with their body, cis? no. they are still a transgender person (as far as they want to include that in their identity— no one is obligated to take on that specific label). 

this kind of thinking also erases those trans people who have not, cannot, or don’t want to transition, for a variety of reasons too broad to cover, but who still fight for (and gain!) self-love. if a trans person has fought and fought to love themself, despite all of what society is telling them, despite what cis people are telling them, despite even what certain trans people will tell them, about how they will be fundamentally disgusting and unlovable until they meet a certain standard, and they succeed, does that make them no longer trans? it doesn’t. they’ve won a very personal battle and it’s not one that anyone else gets to try to use as ammunition against them or their identity.

there’s also the case of trans people who have always been comfortable with their bodies, who maybe change their presentation or pronouns but that’s all they feel they need to do to be happy. shouldn’t we be thinking that it’s lucky that they managed to escape what can be a very dark and painful part of being trans? why would anyone want to try to take away their identity because of that?

the idea that one must have dysphoria to be trans doesn’t only hurt the nonbinary people that it’s been most recently directed at. it also hurts non-transitioning binary trans people, who may choose not to transition for reasons ranging to money to religion to personal decision. it also hurts people of all trans identities who have managed self-love through a barrage of hatred from both outside sources and inside their minds. it seems to cast no thought at all towards people who have transitioned to their heart’s content. and frankly, it’s just incorrect, not to mention invasive. it boils down the extremely complex experience of being transgender to a single factor, a factor that cannot be verified through obversation, and isn’t that what we’re trying to get cis people to stop doing?

I’m going to take a minute to reiterate that you cannot determine dysphoria through observation. it’s impossible. you cannot know everything in a person’s mind based on your ideas of how they should dress or speak or act. stop trying. it’s invasive and presumptuous and rude.

we as trans people are complex and multifaceted human beings with a wide range of experiences and feelings, and we all need to acknowledge that. as one trans person out of many, no one of us can know every single trans experience. trans people are not a monolith. 

(Source: askfornewurlbye, via leafycat)

"A gay elite has hijacked queer struggle, and positioned their desires as everyone’s needs — the dominant signs of straight conformity have become the ultimate signs of gay success."

— Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, Sweatshop-Produced Rainbow Flags and Participatory Patriarchy: Why the Gay Rights Movement Is a Sham”  (via sinidentidades)

(Source: queeradical, via queerdiscox)








The way straight men talk when they don’t think anyone else is around is fucking terrifying.

#so many trans women FUCKING DESPISE men #like #really really hate men #this is why


see, this is what I shoulda said in the original post. She made it better.

I’m gonna delete the original now cause all those notes are annoying me.

Seriously. Absolutely fucked up. I never thought about this, but wow, cis women don’t even know. This makes a lot more sense now about why cis women are sometimes genuinely surprised to hear my serious criticism of a man for the way he acts around me (or what I easily can tell from his social behavior.) “Really?” Because this experience has been part of my life pretty much since I started grade school, I never consciously realized that others didn’t know what men are like.

I’m also now realizing that my aversion to men that I had so much trouble explaining and weird feelings around expressing now make total sense.

right?  like there’d be these guys and cis women would be like ‘oh, he’s so sweet’ and i’d be like…. what??  that guy??

i mean, ive got a whole lot more reasons to hate men than this, but this is a huge part of it.  most women really don’t realize, like, how much collective solidarity men have in not judging each other for this shit and keeping it secret and everything.  and hell, there’s been a few times where i’ve specifically tried to warn cis women about certain guys and of course they didn’t believe me.

but, no, seriously, cis women: guys are way more awful than you think.  that sweet, friendly guy?  you don’t even want to know what he says about you when you’re not around.

So much this.

Like, cis woman think that when we say stuff like “when you are a trans woman, you get to see how cruel men really are” that we are only talking about when they are enacting transmisogyny on us.

And while that would give insight, by then we already know how horrible they are. When we are closeted and parsed as other men, they are completely open about how fucking disgusting they are.

Another reason why trans women being male-socialized is such bullshit. Being around men like this doesn’t force us to internalize positive messages about men, we internalize the negative we hear about women and we are scared.

My father and someone who has helped me a lot in AA happen to be ones I get these messages from regularly.

agreeing with this so much. 

Repeating for emphasis: “Being around men like this doesn’t force us to internalize positive messages about men, we internalize the negative we hear about women and we are scared.

(Source: roycevomit)