Is anyone else painfully aware of the almost total lack of representation for genderneutral individuals who were not born with vaginas on Tumblr?
I have a beard and a penis and body hair and I am genderqueer.
I am neither male nor female. I wish to be referred to with they/them/their pronouns.
Is there anyone else out there like me?
Is there anyone who can understand what it’s like to be me?
Here’s my average day:
//I walk out of my building in Harlem, NYC wearing braids, a full face of makeup, dresses/blazers/skirts/sneakers/harem pants/wedges/usually all black and I take the train to Times Square where I work.
-Harlem - yelling, screaming, slurs, threats
-Subway - mostly neutral, but when shit goes down it’s serious
-Times Square - constant photos taken without my permission, a diverse range of reactions ranging from total denial/avoidance to outright hostility (usually from some Bible Belt tourist)
//I have to pay for my gender identity/expression every single day.
(Not to mention once I get to work I have to deal with being misgendered constantly by customers who stare/gawk/take more photos/act like assholes/ask inappropriate & invasive questions.
And just forget when I walk out at night in full drag.)
I need to know if anyone gets it.
All I’m looking for is a little camaraderie, I can handle myself and I do. I still manage to have a successful career that I love, a relationship with the partner I love so dearly, and mostly wonderful relationships with my family, blood & chosen. I’m in the process of changing my name and I would like to have folks to talk to about it.
In lieu of such conversation I have created something I would like to put out in the world in the hopes that it will help at least one person. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
The Gender/Queer Code
//You are beautiful. Full stop.
//You can express your gender any way you please.
//Your gender, it’s expression and your chosen name/pronouns are to be respected and observed at all times. No exceptions.
//You are under no obligation to be who you were five minutes ago.
//You are not now, nor are you ever responsible for explaining your beliefs and how you express yourself to anyone. You do not have to answer any question you do not want to answer.
//You deserve to be treated with utmost respect and honor.
Simply because you move through a public place does not mean your body is to be treated as public property.
//You alone are responsible for your happiness, your success and your life. Remember: no one is going to live your life for you.
//What you allow is what will continue.
Let me know what you think and if any of this actually makes any sense.
I totally sympathise with this post, it’s super sweet. however, I totally don’t see a lack of gq AMAB peeps on tumblr - guess it’s all about who you follow ^_^
- Patronising question: Doesn’t Israel provide Palestinian queers with a safe haven?
- Al-Qaws: Of course it does - the apartheid wall has sparkly pink doors lining it, ready to admit those who strike a fabulous pose. In fact, Israel built the wall to keep Palestinian homophobes out and to protect Palestinian queers who seek refuge in it.
- Patronising question: Are there any out Palestinians?
- Al-Qaws: I’m glad you asked that question. We have great Palestinian gay carpenters who build such amazing closets for queers with all the Western comforts you can dream of — we never want to leave.
- Patronising question: Why are there no Israelis in al-Qaws?
- Al-Qaws: Colonialism is not about bad people being mean to others (“bad” Israelis don’t steal queer Palestinians’ lunch money). Being super “good” doesn’t magically dissolve systems of oppression. Being queer does not eliminate the power dynamic between the colonized and colonizer despite the best of intentions.
DON’T: tease the radical “queers.” These people stridently call married people horrid names like “breeders” and “couple-talist pigs.” They enjoy making everyone around them unhappy with their ridiculous protests about keeping the “law” off their “bodies.” Historians of the 1980s record these malcontents following President Reagan around, chanting, “Racist-Sexist-Anti-Gay-Ronald-Reagan-Go-Away.” For pity’s sake, if they really wanted the president to “Go Away,” they wouldn’t have gone to a place where they knew he would be, would they? Given their illogic and volatility, it is best not to point and laugh while they protest. Their little faces get red and they have seizures and pass out, then are carried off by cops, who do god knows what with them, thus hastening their inevitable, dinosaur-like extinction. On second thought: go ahead and tease them.
NEVER: question your governmental authorities about issues that are not specifically about gay rights. After all, what do you know about U.S. policy? Maybe Pakistan thinks drone attacks are cool! Maybe polar bears enjoy playing on melting icecaps! Remember, if it’s not our problem, it doesn’t really exist. Vive our difference!"
Amaze. If you ignore the “Hun” comment :X
Anonymous asked: is it ok for a cis person to try and educate other cis people about trans* issues? as in, to not use slurs and such? or is that overstepping boundaries?
absolutely please do this
it’s often safer and more effective (because cis people like to listen to other cis people, go figure) for cis people to call out cissexism/transphobia. just don’t talk over what actual trans people are saying and you’re golden
this is good do more of this! just don’t dominate discourses, lead with other people’s experience etc.